There is the parade of criminals and clowns,

In jubbas and bright evening gowns.

They are standing for election,

For us to mark our selection,

To decide whether the nation will collapse or bounce.

What if she was only an au pair?

Didn't she, with Rajiv make a handsome pair?

What if her relative is an outlaw?

Wasn't she the PM's daughter-in-law?

Don't we always fall for skin that is fair?

India is the land of the Ganges and the Taj.

We have got rid of the British Raj.

Let us not bring the back the Europeans,

Who treat us like slaves and peons.

There is reason to vote for Sushma Swaraj.

BJP's spokesman Pramod Mahajan,

Is not a person to be outdone.

He compared Congress's Sonia

To Clinton's Monica;

To be condemned by everyone.

Chief Election Commissioner Mr Gill,

Doesn't want to talk about Kargil.

He dictates what is spoken from the dais,

Sometimes he is accused of a bias,

For stopping mention of Monica and Bill.

While having my usual Sambar and Iddly,

I switched on the drawing room telly,

To find out who

Speaks better: Beti or Bahu

The one from Delhi or the one from Italy.

One candidate is from Delhi

The other is from Italy.

One is called Bahu; the other Beti.

One likes iddly, the other spaghetti.

My vote is for one filling my belly.


(Not in that order, you silly)

If you condemn a terrorist,

You are branded a fascist.

This is one of the dirty tricks,

Of election politics,

To call a criminal a pacifist.

What happened to the Third Front,

That may be called a National affront?

Now you can talk of the Fourth and the Fifth

Coming out of the political filth.

Such fronts are only a political stunt.

The other party is always irregular,

We are the ones who are secular.

Both in war and peace,

We want to appease,

So that our vote banks are liberal.

by V.Harihara Subramanian

August 1999

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